July 31, 2006
A swarm of black starlings just flutters near by
Ascends to the building where we did not sleep
And the brigde starts to float right under my feet.
Reflections of light and of heat flow my way
Your contours define against structures that sway.
Vertigo is tangling me all up in blue
Five floors are too grave to fall down on you!
Why don´t I turn back and obey to my heart
That screams like a child we should not be apart?
Why do I ignore the strong pulse beat of faith
That fiercely breaks through white November haze?
Another step backwards and you´ll disappear
Behind cubical monuments witnessing fear.
My legs take a flight for I try to escape
The terrible brightness of love and fate.
How did you survive when the avalanche came?
Did you run for cover by calling my name?
I think that I heard you, once deep in the night
So I plucked up my courage and did what felt right.
Imagine a castle on top of a hill
Inside there two lovers in a junction of will.
Their minds soar up high as they loll ´round the sill
Chatting and flirting, enjoying the chill.
Fine snow is absorbing the starlight of night
But lovers are laughing and shining so bright.
A fleeting glimpse on what´s true and what´s right
In the lap of luxury flourishes light.
No angst is around and the world seems so kind,
They cherish keen feelings and hopes on their minds.
And while visions of common fortune unwind
It’s them younger selves that they suddenly find.
July 30, 2006
Someone gave that book to me a few months ago, telling me I should read it so I would be much wiser afterwards. At first I didn´t feel like reading it, then I left the book lying about on my bedside table for another three weeks, but finally attacked it and read it rather quickly. The first John Updike I ever read, by the way.
Now I´m quite perplexed, wondering: Is it a good or a bad book?
The language is brilliant, dissecting. Words just fall into place. Waves of descriptive images and little scenes pass by like perfect fluffy clouds in the sky. And Owen is so egomanically absorbed by his sexual longings that I just can´t but like him. But the plot...??
Why does the hero aka Owen Mackenzie leave his wife and his four pubescent children in the end to be with his second wife Julia? Why does his first wife Phyllis have to die in a pseudo-fateful car accident after a last attempt of holding him back? Why does a sex-maniac like Owen (or is he just like every man out there?) more or less lose his sexual appetite and lust after he finally gets and marries the right woman (or: what is Julia to him, in fact?)? Is Updike trying to get a moral message across (um, probably not...)? Or did he just run out of ideas while trying to put an end to a story that has a very strong start, a partly interesting centrepiece but a motley, loose déjà-vu ending???
And finally: How comes that a book that is mainly about a selfish, inventive computer-nerd screwing as much neighbourhood women as possible in most diverse ways and positions all through his married life until he finally divorces and surrenders to monogamy leaves me so completely unaffected? I mean, selfish, inventive computer-freaks usually do stimulate my imagination in some ways, plus drastic and detailed descriptions of how a man and a woman *play around with each other* do quite easily arouse my senses, and this book is packed with that stuff but... it just doesn´t really work on me...
One exception, though: The scene in Chapter IV - Young Owen tries to please nice little Elsie in the car (he´s completely dressed, kissing and licking her naked body in abandon and wonder) - is fairly horny (in my opinion, much more than the ever-more plastic and explicit sex exercises of his grown-up years). Urged me to make love immediately after I read it... Or was that simply due to the fact that I read it during a hot and cosy Sunday siesta?
Well, well, anyway... It´s late now, and too hot again.
Maybe there´s anybody out there who has also read the book and likes to reply?
July 27, 2006
I like the idea of falling apart
So I glance at your face and try to find out.
You´re looking bewildered, adventurous at heart
How long will it take us before we get loud?
We go to the venue, men staring at me
I cling to your eyes, they are holding me tight.
Your voice is embracing my needs to be free
The scent of my centre is flowing tonight.
Much later we struggle in joy and in fear
Two violet feathers you brought along.
Surrender will come, it is already near
Our heart knots untie and we know we are strong.
Photo: Feather Drop 2 by bonsaikiptb
July 25, 2006
Entangling my mind all-around?
What´s pressing me forward in evermore loss
Ties me up with some terrible bound?
Will I ever be able to find an approach
To finally cut in the plot
That drowned my poor heart, suffocated and torched
Will I finally break up the knot?
Green laces of floss are so hard to untie
Their beauty and force are too frank.
Green laces of floss never really go by
Their strings are intended to rank.
Alongside windy narrow trails unfolds a litte creek
a woodshed and a weathered cottage, sailing boats asleep.
Your twinkling eyes encourage me to stroke your boyhound grounds
And I look back at you in smiles, my heart, it takes a leap.
The harbour lies in April sun, all ships have different faces
Some marked by sorrow, some by joy, some others by harsh races.
Old cutter´s stuck down in the mud, we try to wake it up
I talk to you so tenderly and hope to leave some traces.
We stroll down to the shoreline then, serenity is ours
Talking in silence is our gift plunged into golden hours.
It´s obvious and it´s dangerous, but we don´t hesitate
And as for me I know my love exceeds all water powers.
We know reversal will approach, we know the breeze will spring
And bring us numb and rainy days and amputate our wings,
We feel it coming from afar not knowing yet how near,
Still we enhance and please ourselves with dreams of Queens and Kings.
Oh Lover, how can I withstand the memories of this day
When you said to me solemnly you´d never slip away?
Although you stumbled in the storm, you´ll always be close-by
Despite my wound ripped up afresh one hazy day in May.
*************************Photo by P8050422
Walking by the river
Memories cross my mind
Of how I used to listen and shiver at his side.
Talking of his visions
Sharing them with me
Making some decisions – how proud I used to be!
Never thought I´d loose him
Never thought he´d run
Away from me so fiercely and leave me in the dawn.
Photo by Hans van Reenen
July 24, 2006
But we entered the gate from the west.
We sat down to talk, to be quiet or to dance
But one touch of our hands got us caught in the race.
Big ships passed us by, lethargic and slow,
Triggering bow waves so high.
While we gradually thought about swaying our lives
The patter of rain intervened in the flow.
Those lines on your face they rewound all my past
When I was naive and carefree,
Yet I haughtily opened my heart on that day
And allowed us to rise to the challenge at last.
And then we decided to cross all the bridge
With a sparkle so strong that it hurt.
What was it I gave then but never got back
When we dared to climb up to the ridge?
Yes, the Island of Shark is a dangerous place
But it´s one that I had to traverse.
I´ve lost all my hopes and fears all at once
In those terrible days of grace.
It is only reserved to the cat-eyed smart.
Now you think you can´t take it, you think you will weep,
`Cause you don´t find the force to wake from your sleep.
It can be about love, it can be about hate,
Nevermind though, it´s not an eternal state.
Keep jaguars from running, let penguins fly high,
But then lift up your eyes from the ground to the sky.
They are working for me
When I choose to believe them
They make me feel free.
I love wonderland games
They are lifting me up
When I choose to persist
I can go to the top.
I love wonderland ways
They are making me high
When I choose to join in
They allow me to fly.
I´m a wonderland dame
Don´t you say it ain´t true
And the first thing I´ll do is:
I´ll prove it to you!