Ok, here are some typical "morning pages"... and they go like this:
I dreamt that I stepped out on the balcony of our flat at the break of dawn to catch a glimpse of the dampness of late summer. My little son Dave was at my side, the man I share my everyday life with was still asleep in our marriage-bed.
Instead of the usual balcony setting, I saw a huge aquarium with various fish of all sizes standing on the left side of the balcony, and a big brown bear on the right. A bear? Yes, a bear! Not one of those John Irving bears, though (and no: I hadn´t read any Irving novel at eve!). It was a dishevelled, messy and alarmingly meagre bear obviously looking for food. At first I wondered why I hadn´t taken any notice of those fish and that bear before, and how both species had survived without getting fed by us. Apparently, the bear hadn´t lived on the fish.Both - fish and bear - looked very ancient, as if they had been out there for donkey´s years. But whereas the fish looked well nurtured and contented, the bear seemed to be disoriented, ahungered and about to go - but not for the fishes...
Instinctively, I pulled my little son to myself and tried to close the heavy glassy French window that had been open all night, but it was already too late... The animal saw us, turned in our direction and started to jump on us. Appalled, I grabbed my son and rushed towards the entrance door, thinking that if I managed to get out before the bear and to double-lock the flat door firmly from outside, Dave would be safe. I felt that it was possible that we might never be able to come back, but there seemed to be no other way.
But what about my husband still sleeping in the bedroom, innocent and oblivious to the imminent danger? Should I warn him, or should I rather push our luck and keep quiet in order not to draw the bear´s attention to this easy prey that it hadn´t detected so far, albeit the open balcony window in the past? How could he flee or fight the bear if it discovered him, with a double-locked entry door?
There was no time for further consideration as the terrifying animal came nearer. So I decided to warn my man and yelled: "Beware!! There´s a greedy angry bear in our flat, chivvying us around! I´m trying to get Dave out, and then I´ll instantly call the police and the fire brigade so they will get you out as well! Run and try to go up to the maisonnette, the stairs are too tiny for the bear to follow you up there, if you manage you´ll be safe!!!" And then, not knowing whether he had heard me at all, Dave and I had a narrow escape through the entrance door, which I locked firmly. Running down the stairs, we could hear the bear howling and bashing furiously against the door, but it didn´t break.
As soon as we had left the stairway and stepped outside, I alternately tried to call the police and the fire brigade on my mobile, which I had by chance taken along. (OK, I admit this sounds absurd, but remember that we´re in a dream and that this is the year 2006!) But oh! None of those urgency numbers worked! I tried again and again, becoming more and more hectic and desperate... nowt! In horror and with images of the bear and my husband struggling in my mind´s eye, I changed my strategy and tried to call any of my close friends for help, but it didn´t work either. Some of them wouldn´t believe my story, others were simply non-accessible.
Instead, something very weird happened: Out of the blue, I got one, then another, then a third texto from my far-away lover who had been absent for ages! "What?" I wondered, momentarily getting distracted from the main plot. In a short flare-up of hope, I thought that maybe he could be a help to me. I quickly checked my lover´s messages, but it was one of life´s many ironies that they were all self-centred or lacking in content. Meaningless word formations, none of them offering any alternative or help to me. Then I got a fourth texto. It was from my husband, saying: "Where are you? I am with the bear."
Exhausted and enraged in the face of adversities and confusion, I threw my mobile away, ordered my child to wait for me in the garden and climbed up the stairs to the flat again to come to my husband´s assistence, or to go for whatever may happen...
That was the very moment when I awoke from this nightmare, all trembling and drowned in tears. I looked over to my man, sleeping quietly and peacefully. A wave of relief pervaded me. Following a strong stirring of emotion, I clasped him in my arms, attempting to wake him up and tell him about my strange dream. But my husband said: "Dave, you go back to bed immediately, this is the middle of the night and we want to sleep!"
BOOM!
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